I still find so much torment bred within
The attempt to reconcile myself with something
With which I have never been fine.

You and I were no longer together,
And though I saw it coming
I told myself different,
Which did nothing to prevent the eventuality, the fruition,
The end result came about all the same.

You fell in love with my best friend,
It was inevitable.
He said the two of you knew that it was wrong,
But he wanted to tell me, and to ask all the same,
And to his shock, disbelief, and relief, I said it was fine.

Yes, I know it was a lie,
But if I had said no it would have happened regardless -
If there's one thing in life I know
It's how things like these go, the feelings take over -
So I said no, it's fine,
So that maybe you two might find the happiness that eluded you and I,
And I'll go my way and hope to find mine,
Without you two having to worry and hide,
And to deny those feelings I saw
Before either of you two knew what it was.

And now I still find myself trying to make it ok in my mind,
When all I find is pain when you come to mind.
One day, one day I will be ok,
But until then this is something I will bury and hide,
Until the day I find that things are alright,
And I can be happy for the love you two did find.