december 29th –  i was a blizzard
infant, had
not gained my first color until the new year

even my eyes went white, were made of snowflakes
even my heartbeat had
a murmur, landed on my ribcage like snowfall

and every three months i give myself
up to my childhood
dye my hair so i stop fading into my white sheets

their threads are stitched from
the breath of ghosts, my mother never called to say
she wished it were hers

now
i only ever believe i have skin when it is
not being touched.