I don’t really believe in aliens
Only the ones in my head
I don’t believe in monsters
Except the demons under my bed

I’m sick and tired of feeling feelings
That I know they’re not
I’m living in a horror movie going on in my head
That I just can’t turn off
I don’t know why I have obsessiveness
It doesn’t really make sense because it’s not like I deserve this
Or do I?

Sometimes I can just drown myself in sad songs
And not even feel a **** thing
Some days I hear a love song
And I’ll cry until I can’t breathe

I’m not writing this to try to get pity
I’m just asking why the hell does my mind
Keep playing on repeat?

This keeps happening to me
I begin to fall
And I’m trying my hardest
To convince myself it’s not my fault

Just thinking about,
I begin to shiver
“Almost over night, my world began to darken
And hope seemed to wither”

Back in middle school, after I said I was depressed,
They made me sign a piece of paper that said I wouldn’t **** myself
But a piece of paper is just a piece of paper
Doesn’t make a difference, can you tell?

Yes, I’ve made some stupid, pathetic decisions
In the past that weren’t so wise
I’m just trying to find the welcome mat into my life

I used to think talking to her was the best thing,
The greatest victory I’m focused on
But it’s been two years and she went away
I’m okay with that so I guess you could say I’ve moved on

All those stupid things I said
Can’t believe I had the nerve
And God ******, I’m sick and tired
Of acting on an urge

One of the reasons this came back to get me
Is because I judge
Despite the fact that I go to church
And they tell me not to hold a grudge

So Father, heal me.
Forgive me of my shameful sins
Just rid me of hatred and all those demons
And just finally let my life begin