Jan 1
i don’t know how to feel, to be fair,
anxious thoughts linger, heavy in the air.
the boys stay the same, unchanged, unkind,
no remorse, no growth, no peace to find.
i hoped for growth in the time apart,
a shift, a spark, a different start.
but the mirror shows the same old face,
pulling me back to that unkind space.
the morning speaks in knots and twists,
a familiar ache i can’t resist.
two bad dreams, that’s all it took —
to unearth the truth i’d overlooked.
no more dwelling, no more weight,
just quiet resolve to close the gate.
anxious thoughts linger, heavy in the air.
the boys stay the same, unchanged, unkind,
no remorse, no growth, no peace to find.
i hoped for growth in the time apart,
a shift, a spark, a different start.
but the mirror shows the same old face,
pulling me back to that unkind space.
the morning speaks in knots and twists,
a familiar ache i can’t resist.
two bad dreams, that’s all it took —
to unearth the truth i’d overlooked.
no more dwelling, no more weight,
just quiet resolve to close the gate.
i thought time apart might bring some change, maybe a bit of growth, but it feels like nothing shifted. all it does is remind me of the person i used to be around them—someone i’m not proud of. and now, here i am, waking up with that same uneasy stomach, like a ghost of old patterns i thought i’d left behind.
