Feeling dark today. Consumed with dread
Rolodex of the year past spinning in my head.
Trying to look forward. Maybe a fresh start?
Emotional pain manifests physical in my heart.
Put on the countdown. Pour the Prosecco.
While the degrading words for myself echo.
Disgusting and hopeless. A failure. Pathetic.
I’m the only one to which I can’t be empathetic.
Walking around with unhealed scars.
Not sure how I’ve even made it this far.
Inside I fantasize about my life’s end.
Outside an expert at playing pretend.
I can’t go on like this forever.
How do I continue to hold it together?
Swallow it down. We still aren’t done.
5, 4, 3, 2, 1.