Waiting for the aftershock to subside
I failed epically even though I tried. Reclaiming all the tears that I have cried. Please God I pray you let my transgressions slide.
With the rules I do not comply. Vindictive streaked is my dark tragic sky. I keep chasing spirits and smoke clouds though I just do not know why.
No need for an iron clad alibi. I'll tell you straight I was out getting high.
Chaos and catastrophes seem to collide  pain and turmoil brought in by the rising crimson tide.
I still try to take it all in stride
riding for my ride or die
to help ride the very pride
right to the other ******* side.
Power glide.
Patience short supplied.
No one left in which I feel as if I could confide
my frequent thoughts of suicide.
Hole deep in my cold barren soul just as deep as it is wide.
Pushing the pain way down inside
my emotions I tend to hide.
When my cuz passed part of me actually died.
By myself I am beside
These drugs I self prescribe.
Into another realm it seems as if I did arrive. In this pain I still writhe. Feeling more dead than I do alive.

Dig my *** up like an artifact after I was buried beneath the chaos and the calamity that somehow I seem to  attract.
Make it out unscathed integrity still intact.
Brace myself for the impact. No brags just plain fact. Against Me all the odds are unfairly  stacked
from all angles now I'm attacked. Revenge I exact. Fell right into the trap. I think I may need a nap. Sharp as a tac. Throw out the rift raft
*** for tat tat for *** take another ******* hit. **** close to being lit legit. Another wash up misfit
That just will not quit.
I don't sive a ghit
nor do i even give a ****. Forcing myself into places that I was never meant to fit.

Sporadically my heartbeats inside my chest
as on my shoulders the weight of what feels like the world I attempt to heft.
I would give my very last breath if I had any oxygen left.
In these shinny surfaces my face does reflect.
I am not perfect.
Unless you mean perfectly ****** up. Reeking havoc out running amuck.
In a  stolen pick up truck spitting out tiny pieces of my broken luck.
Thunderstruck in an addicted mindset I am stuck
hitting the ground hard in a manner rather abrupt
falling in a reverse tail spin.
Colder and much more corrupt.
My temper is capable of beginning  to erupt. Disorderly is how to define my conduct. These walls I have to reconstruct readjust. Don't look at me with such disgust. Very few people do I actually trust. Only the ones that I must. Ashes to dust. If it wasn't for marijuana my lungs would rust.
About ready to just spontaneously combust.
Do not try to interrupt. These demons disrupt
do just as instruct.
Stand clear as I self ******* distruct.

Dancing my way out of the the masquerade, to play life's little charade. Intrusive thoughts they invade. Unafraid renegade.  Hand well played.
For a week up I have stayed
Far from the beaten path I have strayed. Orders not obeyed.
With death's  bouquet
Cover the stretch of those already decayed.
To black I attempt to fade.
Not the master of my fate.
No intentions of ever going straight.
Cannot save me from myself for that it's way too **** late.

Solace and salvation I seek actively. About this I feel passionately.
I try to present myself fashionably. But distractedly waiting to happen a disaster haphazardly casually a callously created causality
an abnormality. Get off on a technicality. Distorted sense of reality coming from my badly broken mentality. Brutality, fatality.
What in this actuality is just a principality held over someone else's haywire personality.
Never have I ever been so **** sincere in the middle of the night I am seeing pretty **** clear
I feel as the end maybe growing near. Hold my throttle
hold my beer.
As the dawn approaches i begin to ******* disappear
my mind always wondering if anyone out there right now is even really here.
Burn down all I ever held so **** dear. Swinging from the chandelier. Here is to another wild year.

I don't know what it is that I am attempting to seek actions louder than words proving that talk is cheap.
I run one true deep.
Now I lay me down... To do anything but ******* sleep
I have to many secrets only I can keep.
My eyes been wide open for about a week. My intentions reek. I gack I geek I ******* tweak. I don't trust myself not to misspeak
in the shadows I often retreat unable to admit defeat.
Trying to stay discreet
while I wander this street. Incomplete vindictive streak running from moments that are at best bittersweet. Wish I was a mistake that someone could delete
living my life like it's stuck on repeat. I'll  take my whiskey neat.  
now I will attempt to render myself completely obsolete.

I am silver that's now tarnished and growing dull
Intrusive thoughts twisted up rattle around inside of ******* skull. A broken vessel
An empty hull.  Rock another ******* bowl. Spin spun right out of control. Slow my roll before off in the nefarious darkness I stroll. Traveling where there are only  places my angels dare never to go.

Fabrications seem  to heavily fall as the toxins expell
Nothing more than a throwed off fairy tale that is demented as hell.
Ask no questions and no lies will I have to sell. I bid the a fond fare the well. As moonlight goes pale and the smoke grows stale. I tried but to no avail.
Do another hot rail
Follow a dusty trail.
Now I am weak and kind of frail.
Banshees loudly wail. Hammer into my coffin another nail.
Get ready to set sail. Spinning til I am feeling rather unwell.
In this rather unsavory prison I tend to dwell. Tension starting to swell.

Crushed here underneath this pending doom, my room has become just another tomb
For some grave digger to exhume.
My activities I try and resume but I am higher than a **** ballin animated  all drawn out like a **** cartoon red assed like a **** baboon. Nothing seems to cut though this gloom the toxic fumes the air it perfumes.  Like peacocks colorful plumes
Will I die as presume. This poison I consume.
Burning in the afternoon