I did something foolish tonight
Opened the archives of a love long gone
Just to make sure the pain had faded
Piece by piece
But it turns out
My body burns
A wildfire of memory and regret
It wasn’t his promises
His sweetness
Or his love that broke me
But myself
For every word I wrote there

How many times did I tell him
I hated the pain he left in me?
How many times did I convince myself
And try to convince him
That this time would be different?
That I could be enough
To anchor his wandering heart?

I fought so hard
To know what he wanted from me,
To stop him from breaking both of us,
To be the best girl he’d ever known.
So he’d never seek the 20%
I didn’t have
Because I gave him 100%.

But everything I’ve done feels useless
All of that effort
Paid with pain
And I destroyed myself.