what if we actually committed to our
pleasures
and engage in potent intrusive thoughts
what if i opened my head and let you hear
the whispers of my desires
would you listen?
i caress the right side of your face
pull myself into your pierced ears
and i tell you that im corrupted
through my veins isn't blood
i do not bleed red
i've bled out completely
ive bled out on others who didn't pierce me
with a blade
on other's who didn't cut me
and i tell you that
i've traveled hours from home
and attempted to grab my last breath
in a new city
I can never get away from myself

What if we became what we are so afraid to feel
let's lose any sense of ground
we thought we stood upon
what if we became the people who hurt us
and let hurt do what it does best
i caress the left side of your face
and pull myself into your bare ear

and i tell you that im angry
ive been angry at so many things that
i was never upset about to begin with
and that there's this vexation
i begin to whisper so quietly with loud words
i tell you i want to disappear
i tell you i want to get away from the things
that wreck my mind
but i stand hand in hand
in comfort with my pain because she is the only
one who knows me inside in.

But what if we let go of the hand that hurts us
learn to forgive ourselves for experiencing
the good type of pain that feels goods
and ruins you
what if become what we deeply wanted
a vessel of happiness
a symbol of healing
what if we accepted what society could not
and pour into ourselves and sew up our own wounds
I caress myself
i push back my hair
feel my lips and stare at my reflection
i lean forward
and I tell myself that im sorry.