Only every eight weeks
Can I donate whole blood,
Not like the old days
Nothing else, I'm a dud,
Not platelets and plasma
In one single session,
Thus, whole blood it is
My singular expression.

I'm worried you see
If I pick the wrong day,
Eight weeks from now
Blood Chick might be away,
Off on a boat trip
Or skiing at Vail,
She won't be here to comfort
Her least favorite male.

Stalkers and such
We get a bad rap,
I'm just donating blood
Like Corona on tap,
Not the best of all beers
But I might save a life,
And face it, I'm not looking for
A replacement wife.

But I would like my Nurse
To be you know who,
Emily of course
And not number two,
Because that one doesn't care
If she misses my vein,
No, she's an iron maiden
When it comes to giving pain.

Emily, my vampire
Is gentle with blood,
She smiles and giggles
And says I'm a stud,
Meanwhile I am drifting
Near death in a slumber,
And in my dream she told me
Her special phone number.