My life would look so different without this feeling yet feelingless thing called anxiety

Maybe for once
I could feel emotions without consequences
Without feeling sick
Without worrying about feeling sick

Maybe I could sleep within the first hour or three
And leave the house to do things more frequently
Maybe I'd be doing better socially

Who knows
My head might not always feel
Like there's a million thoughts at once
Fighting to be heard
Fighting to be the first to frighten me out of my mind
Eat me up from the inside

There's a chance
I could smile genuinely
And not need to remind myself to breathe
Constantly
Maybe instead of re-reading and re-reading old messages
Finding what I should have done
Instead
I'd send new ones