I was talking to the Man in the Moon last night. I asked him,

Hey dude, what's your deal with cheese?

He replied,

I hate the stuff. I'm more of a kebab man.

Puzzled, I pressed him,

But you're made of cheese, right?

That was a lie started by the government to make use of surplus supplies of milk.

he responded.

I was intrigued,

So, where do you buy your kebabs?

The Man in the Moon laughed,

You do realise you are talking to yourself and I do not exist?

He was right,
I'm not touching **** ever again.