Eating away. Like the flesh you solemnly kiss. Through doubt if wanting acceptance wishing away.
Careful dear, what is carelessly labeled "love"  I might just destroy it.
******* and walk away as a stranger.
Make note not just subjected to games of satisfactory but been there and suffered through it.
In the trips of the fire like those of Hell. The losing and starting over. Again. Alone.
Dullend over time.
Nothing new. Just an idiosyncratic routine.