LEAVING THE CHURCH

Ahhhhh...I think I see
what has happened.

There's been
a terrible mistake.

And so I go
to talk to

talk it out with
Him.

You know
boy to God.

I tell him to
rewind time

surely not such
a big thing for a God

to do
. . .yes?

And where my sister's death is
put her back here...& me. . .there.

A straight
no nonsense swap.

A life for a life.

And if there has to be
a death: then. . .

( I explain as best I can
as if God's a little child )

I'll die
in her
place.

It all seems so
simple.

Deal?

I can't see a problem.
The problem is...

God acts as if -
He's not there.

And although I've dealt with Him
fairly and squarely

He doesn't even deign
to reply.

And, just leaves things
as they are

as if He doesn't
care.

This is not
how I want it.

I curse Him
to Hell

incandescent with rage
white hot anger.

"Call your self a God
( a good God )!"

I spit the words
at Him.

Then I turn
my 9 year old self

away from
HIm.

We don't speak
ever ever again.

I leave
the church.

Dónall has left
the building.