One.
His mouth was open far too much. and his eyebrows bugged me a lot, but he let me pluck them sometimes. his mouth was the first mouth I've kissed. I'll never forget how happy I was when I knew I had him. "swimming at the pool" when all we would do was stay in the showers and make out. everything was new and exciting, but I ruined it and I never thought I could cry as much as I did that night in my bathroom. we still talk but we're different now and the only thing we have in common is glycerine by bush. but we were so young and so in love.

Two.
he was the one my mom hated. he wore stupid necklaces and was from a broken family. but he had big eyes and black hair and made me feel like I was the best thing in the world. he was also the first one who cheated on me and let me know exactly how it felt to be betrayed. I won't ever forget that feeling.

Three.
he was younger then me and I knew better but there was something in his cocky confidence that drew me in. I took his virginity and then fell for him, but he had other girls and no time for me so it fell apart.

Four.
my first college boyfriend. I don't feel like I ever truly loved him but it was convenient. He had shaggy hair and cool friends and would take care of me when I got to drunk. But he was also the first and only boy who physically hurt me. I lost every ******* feeling I thought I had that night.

Five.
Tall and gangly. You called me cute names like creature and babelet and shrimpling. I feel like I miss those pet names more than anything else. I never fought with anyone the way I fought with you. Passion was definitely not lacking in our relationship. But you were mean just like the rest and destroyed my trust in you over and over again with your 'oh we're just friends' answer. when we both know it was more than that. now you're dating one of those just friends and have recently proven to me how awful you are, you can't be faithful to anyone. though I do miss the cuddle sessions. you were great at cuddling.

Six.
it was a ****** up situation from the start. but man I was ******* crazy about you. i lost myself trying to make you happy and as it turns out it wasn't worth it, it never is. you cheated on me with her and with that I lost all of my confidence and happiness for a few months. it's starting to get better but my mind wanders and comes back to you sometimes. I thought you were the nicest one, that we were on the same page, but we weren't. you lied just like the rest of them and then told me I didn't deserve it, which made it worse. *******, I hope you and her's house burns down. Because you guys moved in together right around the time that we were supposed to. I've never felt so insignificant as the day I found that out.

There will be more, I know this. It is because I love falling in love. But it's the times in between that matter the most. To "find yourself" or embarrass yourself or sleep for days on end because you have no reason to wake up and face another ******* day. I may be cynical now but at least I'm learning.
They all lie and I'm no better at it than they are.