there's a pressure in my chest
a chill that spills through my body
my hands are damp and shaking
I can feel this pain throughout me

had another of those days
and last night was one of those nights
got home and went straight to my room
hiding from the sunlight

but now it's dim and cold outside
I can hear the rain and wind
the lights are off, my door is closed
my eyes now red and rimmed

I did a thing I said I wouldn't
yet somehow I don't care
people say they're here for me
but tell me, why aren't they there?

still it hurts, a slow and aching pain
a kind that I don't mind
it reminds me that I am alive
it reminds me to be kind

because the people whom I love
should never have to feel
the pain of being alone and lost
the pain of feeling real

there's a pressure in my chest
as I go about my day
not thinking of the night before
as I fake my fake "okay"