It’s not your fault if something does happens to me
I hated the earth and it hated me back
This world will never be my home
I got use to seeing your door staying shut
I don’t fear rejection or you telling me you hate me
I got use to seeing the chains around my neck, arms and feet
I got told to walk with my head held up high
Even if I didn’t get what I wanted
Even if I got rejected by
Everyone that told me they had me
Even if they took advantage of my mind
Body and soul
Even when I begged him to get off of me and never did
Your looking at a dead woman walking
I’m just taking my time
Until it’s my time to leave
I’ll walk in my garden and die peacefully in my flowers
It’s not your fault I know I’m terrible
I’m not blaming you for anything
I blame myself for thinking that you thought I was important or that I mattered
You shown me every day that I didn’t matter
That it would always be someone else and never me
So there’s no reason for you to sit their and wonder if you want me or not
If you wanted to love me love never holds anyone back it’s fear and fear will only eat you alive when you love someone hurting them is like  hurting yourself
Loving someone is looking into their eyes and feeling their pulse because no matter where your at no matter what happens you can feel them next to you
It’s not a pick me today and leave me tomorrow situation I’m someone’s forever and if not a single person will ever acknowledge that it’s ok
I’ve got a life time of misery and pain
That’s filled my appetite