I wish I could
just talk to you
ask you
how your day is going
or how your life has been
act as tranquil
and happy
as you act with me

I wish I could
pretend I'm not dying
every time your name
pops on my phone screen
or that I really miss you
and I don't know if that
even makes sense at all
because I am not
supposed to meet you
not after everything that happened and
I can't help but fill my sleeves
with the residues of tears
and broken promises

I wish I could tell you
all of this
so all I can do
is write about you.