hello? am i still your only friend?
lonely is me, woe is death
we are one and the same, too alike for our own good
love you, love me, love everything about life, despise everything about death

there is only one way of thinking, one way of breathing
but never one way of living, but only one way of dying
regretfully. sorrowfully. a demise unfitting of a person.
that is the death i wish for, i yearn for
one deserving for a sinner like me.

i cannot help but rejoice
my victory is never certain, my defeat is inevitable
but the thought of my life at its end, at the brink of salvation known as death
brings me great comfort, joy and peace.

i know that the end is near, and i welcome it willingly
the light is not silent, the darkness is but solitude
in the end i can only choose myself to be happy, but it is an impossible task.
loneliness, my friend,
my only companion in these humbling moments.

i fight day to day, with a knife as my sword, and overwhelming emotions as my last love
i cant help but struggle against the uncertainty, knowing my last breath draws closer
it makes more the satisfying conclusion, an end to the cycle
quiet, steady, like a beating heart
a whisper, a dew drop, in the flowing mist
a piano key, that note out of place
its eerie, mysterious, and a quiet peace I've never known.

look at the burnt crevices of my palm,
the mutilation of my corpse's life
dissect and bleed my heart tonight
i want a premature death, burning in purgatory

my greatest crime was deceiving oneself, my greatest deed putting the headless human out of misery
i have sunk in too deep, beyond gods salvation
too much lost in the wreckage,
love wont save me now.

please, heaven, give me salvation
and end my misery once more
let me lie at peace with my sins
and bask in the glory of my youth,
look past the misdeeds of a miscreant
idolize my youth, despise my presence,
love what is perfect, not what is missing
armed with only this bittersweet memory
i mourn for the youth you were robbed of.

i know im a disaster at heart,
a sailor always lost at sea
all i just want to is to have one restart
and finally be free
but little sweet death's too good for me
so i continue on toiling fruitlessly

its a choice to continue, a choice to give up
a choice to sell your soul to a devil, to give up happiness for mercy
to over indulgence in the recesses of life, to forget who you once were
to be too human, to be beyond saving

will you please allow me another chance?
to give up fully, my joy and happiness
in exchange for something worth living for, an aimless purpose
i can only protest at what my life could have been, but never changed a thing
simply watching afar, never doing.

alas, this is what my life truly means
like my purpose, both are alike
my suffering, my misery, my pain
always amounted to what i not hoped, but known all along
absolutely nothing.

this was not death, not life, just an unknown entity,
the chaos of love, and the multitude of emotions that come forth
grasping, holding, tightening its grip around my neck
i struggle to breath, in the overwhelming state of it
im too sweet, too full, too much of everything,
but suddenly too little, too few, and never enough.

i will swallow my doubts bitterly, and smile to the future.
the sunrise and sunsets,
ones i will end before ever seeing once again
my final ode, my only goodbye
left in short, little words.