it is of the utmost importance that i stay i.
just like that poet said,
losing you does not feel like crushing a light bulb in my hand
more like slowly, but consistently, tugging out the glass.
i pray there are no shards here,
no glassy dust left underneath my fingernails.
i could still cry about you when i allow myself to mourn you still.

when i think of you my body shudders;
remembering loving,

remembering being unloved.

*october.5.2013