THE STORY OF ED ASNER'S **** NIGHT WITH HIS COUSIN was not meant to be published in a newspaper because Ed was a private guy who never wanted to drag his cousin's good name into a scandal, but it was too late because everyone who wasn't blind was reading about that **** night between Ed and his cousin. "What's this world coming to?" Ed's cousin asked a concerned Walmart greeter who just shook his head in a defeated way that made 3 Siamese triplets ***** copiously on each other till the floor in front of cash register 7 was so slippery that it took 3 gay Walmart employees with new mops an hour to clean up.