Oct 26
Money matters and work
Leave me feeling anxious and awkwardly wondering
What is it that I love to do most?
Burnt out brain, broken body, not even 60 years here and wishing I wasn't this souls host
Quitting would be easier than finishing my list of ****-tasks that I can't afford to hire someone else to do.
Pointless progress. Selling my soul for dollars...pitiful
Rust is what I'm made of.
That should tell you something.
Rarely inspired,
exceptions being; love of rocks and music and the things that make my love of those things more accessible
I believe that the frequency at which things vibrate is indicative of their nature.
Especially when focused on over a period of time, no less than...next time
I'm quite nervous naturally.
I don't really fit in or feel connected, mostly, I guess
The sum of those parts being equal to or less than the fact that I really don't care what you think about me or the way that I operate. I adore freedom as a sovereign individual. Which means that I would defend another's personal sovereignty as my own
As it should be.
As above so below.
And then there is the easy confidence that I am an innately decent person. I cherish loyalty and adoration of someone else. I can be impressed with etiquette, manners and control of ones composure.
I loath bullies and predation upon children and the innocent. I know what I would **** and die and live for.
I am not a stranger to oaths, covenants or agreement.
I am familiar with honor but cannot claim it.
Courage neither
I am familiar with failure and loss and grief and may lay claim.
I miss my kids. I missed being a father because I was full of self pity and my mouth was full of lies.
There are reasons but they are lies.
I simply failed as a father
I feel destitute when I think of it.
I like tiny things. Small boxes and trinkets and gew-gaws and what-nots.
I like grass and the smell of a pasture in the morning. I like blue sky. I like the feeling that I am on vacation forever. I like a road-trip.
I like dogs and horses and kids and my elders and loud live music.
I came here to serve my maker
I will not quit
Tomorrow then?
Leave me feeling anxious and awkwardly wondering
What is it that I love to do most?
Burnt out brain, broken body, not even 60 years here and wishing I wasn't this souls host
Quitting would be easier than finishing my list of ****-tasks that I can't afford to hire someone else to do.
Pointless progress. Selling my soul for dollars...pitiful
Rust is what I'm made of.
That should tell you something.
Rarely inspired,
exceptions being; love of rocks and music and the things that make my love of those things more accessible
I believe that the frequency at which things vibrate is indicative of their nature.
Especially when focused on over a period of time, no less than...next time
I'm quite nervous naturally.
I don't really fit in or feel connected, mostly, I guess
The sum of those parts being equal to or less than the fact that I really don't care what you think about me or the way that I operate. I adore freedom as a sovereign individual. Which means that I would defend another's personal sovereignty as my own
As it should be.
As above so below.
And then there is the easy confidence that I am an innately decent person. I cherish loyalty and adoration of someone else. I can be impressed with etiquette, manners and control of ones composure.
I loath bullies and predation upon children and the innocent. I know what I would **** and die and live for.
I am not a stranger to oaths, covenants or agreement.
I am familiar with honor but cannot claim it.
Courage neither
I am familiar with failure and loss and grief and may lay claim.
I miss my kids. I missed being a father because I was full of self pity and my mouth was full of lies.
There are reasons but they are lies.
I simply failed as a father
I feel destitute when I think of it.
I like tiny things. Small boxes and trinkets and gew-gaws and what-nots.
I like grass and the smell of a pasture in the morning. I like blue sky. I like the feeling that I am on vacation forever. I like a road-trip.
I like dogs and horses and kids and my elders and loud live music.
I came here to serve my maker
I will not quit
Tomorrow then?
