a heartbroken child will never let go.

here i remain:
i am a ghost more often than a human being. i am aspartame: a sickly sweet substitute for the real thing, i am a make-believe fictional character crafted out of delusion and vice.

and i wish i could say,
i am numb.

i cradle my sadness against my chest like a broken doll
and i am ten years old, kicking and screaming and crying

baby girl grew up like a firework,
spinning, exploding in blinding lights,
floating through months and years like a plastic bag in a storm.

(i have not let go)