three years ago, I was broken
to say the absolute least.
I was torn between the walls
of my flesh
fighting battles between my breaths
arguing within myself,
out of myself,
for myself, and
against.
you'll notice that I'm not as quick with my words
metaphoric with my phrases
not nearly as expressionate and passionate and
let's just say it
dramatic
as I once was.
I am not the person I was then
I think that a new introduction is needed.
Hello, my name is J
I'm 21 years old, 160 or so pounds,
and I don't care what pronouns you call me.
I have a loving common-law husband
and an almost two-year-old daughter.
I have been clean from cutting for nearly three years now
on October 12th.
No drugs in three years on New Year's.
I. Am. Okay.
I cry less often and sit and stare less.
I clean and cook and learn every single day.
I'm still not too sure what it is that I'm doing
because I never thought that I would make it this far
but by god, I am DOING it.
I have BPD.
so if you knew me then, maybe all of my ramblings
FINALLY
makes a little more sense.
They do to me.
I don't write
not nearly as often
and maybe that's my most obvious sign that
I'm better than I was
three years ago.