Dear Commodore Volkok: I bought a toilet (the Volkok 25J) and I'm extremely perturbed. It's the green one with the squirrel-fur seat. It won't flush, even diarrhea! What's the deal with that?! Please call me soon because I miss your manly embrace. I'm on the toilet now (the Volkok 25Y) and I couldn't be happier. - Love and Kisses, Kathy Lee