As the owner of several million gold mines, I'm keenly aware of the difficulties in maintaining good posture and finding my dentures after earthquakes. My father often chided me till he was arrested. One day, while I was gnawing on a truck tire, an internationally-renowned beauty contest owner asked me to participate in his London pageant. I would be in a very revealing bikini, like the ones you see in California a lot. I was so flattered by his offer that I hopped into my 56-million-peso helicopter and flew to England. The English people are so nice and I'll love them forever, except for the stupid ones.