I thought Mormons would protect me from Scientologists, but they wouldn't. I was walking home and singing an anti-Scientology song with my 9 Mormon buddies when a gang of ****** Scientologists appeared from the sewer. "Run!" The fattest Mormon yelled and off they all went forcing me to face the ***** Scientologists alone. Unfortunately, I had to brutally **** them all. That's why Scientology is going out of business.