I've been a *******
Filled with regrets
And little vignettes
So woe is me

I want to apologize to people that I can't find
For things not so safe to define

I've forgotten more people than I remember
But I haven't forgotten you
Despite all the **** I do
There's still pieces missing

I'm far too old to be young
And far too young to be sentimental
Fighting with my insecurities
And chemical deficiencies

I don't know quite what I want
And expect less, less, less
If you ever read this,
I'm sorry.

I was always a mess
But it shouldn't have spewed onto you
When you need friendship, companion
And I panic and abandon.

All I can really say is
******* it.