I am the oldest daughter, I just wish i could be better at it. Even though i have reasons for my actions, Still alone with my guilt i sit.
I feel responsibilities, That are not meant for me. And when things are out of my control, There's no way i can let it be.
I was raised a soldier, Who felt like i needed to lead an army. So now when it seems like i failed, I hide it away but feel it sharply. Sometimes i feel more like a parent, Than my real parents are. Even though i need being a child the most, And everyday i'm fighting a mental war.
I am the monster, I am trying to protect them from. I hate the way i destroy, When it's a healer i want to become.
Even though it's safe, I still look out for the danger that may be. Just to see, That the only danger there really is, Is me.