Heavy on my mind all these thoughts have weighed.
  Instead of being good just try to behave.
Life is really just a ******* charade
Everyone always trying to throw shade.
Randomly the memories just invade
as I am attempting to evade.
It's here that I cannot be swayed
for every lost soul I have Prayed.
I continue to masquerade
as down my face the tears cascade.
Listening on!y to the wind deep in its seranade.
I travel on this my own escapade,
probably my final crusade.
I have never been ***** made.
I remain unafraid.
I'm a ******* renegade.
I hope all my transgressions I hope have been forgave.
I may be a sinner faithless but I am washed in the blood of Jesus so I'm someone you cannot enslave. It's still a hand that has been well played.

Cold chills run up and down my spine like someone is a walking on my grave.
Me from myself can someone attempt to ******* save.
This dirt road I took it on myself to just have it paved. Far from it's beaten path I have strayed.
My hero's for ghosts I really did trade.
I think perhaps my welcome I have over stayed.
There is still blood staining my switchblade.
To pitch black I'm here just trying to fade
Every year that passes feels like it has been a decade. By the creatures that I conjured I have been betrayed. Covering the  stench is death's bouquet.
I can still smell the corpses as they decay.
No one listens to me anyway.
Every other sentence so cliche.  
Falling from the sky mayday mayday, mother ******* daymay.
I refuse to put myself on display.
Like a flame burning out I flicker til I am blown away.

Thick clouds I tend to blow for I just keep smoking strong.
I am trying to just keep moving on.
The person I used to be, She is long
gone.
Searching out the place she might feel like finally she does belong.
Rather it been right or just plan wrong
Up all ******* night long
I stare off into nothing just ripping the ****.
Grass always greener  when it is Someone else 's lawn.
Brains over brawn.
I have gave chase to what I think could have been a supernatural phenomenon.
Someone help me catch this ******* leprechaun.

I have been through so ******* much that I still I am writhing in ******* pain.
Mere words alone just could never truly explain.  
The sorrow that not even both my heart and soul can seem to contain.
Every word I utter drips with much disdain.
It's really quiet a **** shame.
Not one single things every remains the same.
I often find the thoughts so inhumane
are usually the ones I attempting to entertain.
I talk to spirits that exist in a completely different plane.
I am not sane going crazy I  am only crazy when I go sane.
A rose that you call by another name  emits a fragrance just the same
Hazel -Green eyes can't even cry in the ******* rain. Twisted thoughts keep rattling around in brain.
It's so hard for me to try and maintain
unless I have Mary Jane.
**** it Cuz. I still ******* you Billy Wayne.

The calamity of the chaos is in very creation.
These drugs I use for everyday recreation.
I get the highest in the lowest location.
I have no idea how far away is my destination
I don't even have a rough ******* estimation
How quickly begins the so called escalation
When It is already a dangerous situation
I have prayed for a life changing transformation
Instead of the possibility of eternal damnation
I'm currently actively seeking solace as well as salvation

A cause that was somehow better off being lost you see
The only person that I actually aspire to be is just me
I m not sure that I have become just who I am suppose to be
That's just part of this so-called  broken ******* mentality
That has led the way to my very distorted sense of reality
Placing all these principles before such varied personalities
How could I create such a travesty and tragically
Throw a ******* from a balcony so ******* casually
Callously creating another casualty. A ******* brutality
It's another ******* fatality  that has become an actuality