and it seems as though all i ever do is listen to clair de lune and cry by myself; wishing i could go back a few months, when i was happy. depression lifts and leaves for a while. but its a cloud that's turning into a low fog; completely consuming me. i notice when i start digging my own grave and decide to lay in it. i just don't know how to stop myself. my brain goes through a vicious cycle. loving hating mad sad happy elated sad depressed gone.