rip out my heart
feed it to the wolves
and tell me that I am OK
strike me down, you gladiator
you torch bearer
and wrap me in feathers till I sleep

my words are not mine
I do not make them
my mistress sinks them into my well
and I merely pour out the bucket

this strangling weight
pressing on my sternum
(it is not a weight)
I cannot find myself
to push air into the lungs
unless I can succeed
in forgetting them

I cannot

burn me
burn me
burn me
I am on fire and still I battle the cold

your voiceless throat is split
red choking your clothes
and my vision
and you say
‘do not remember me now
remember the chocolate
on my forehead
at lunchtime
remember my head
on your chest
(breathe in/let go)
do not remember me now’

I don’t want to ask you where your story dies

I just want to see your face and smile


*I wish life would tear me to ribbons