the tendency to feel the need to be 10 steps ahead to keep myself safe and everyone else just to feel like I'm keeping myself  safe and sane the tendency to apologize for everything and anything including the things that are completely out of my control knowing **** well the ones who should be apologizing never will so why not do it that's all I ever known taking the fall, accountability, being the scape goat that's my tendency for being a decent ******* person yet I'm treated by everyone like I've done something wrong the only wrong I've ever done was trust be kind decent to the wrong people thinking there could be good in everyone being naive putting trust care time into those who were patiently waiting for the moment they knew they had me where they wanted me that's when they would strike always catch me completely off guard then I'm in shock I'm stuck I'm in disbelief I'd say are you ******* kidding me no not you too why and then in the end I'm always alone just as i started nothings changed nothings new nothing hurts I'm okay no thanks anyways you too stay safe have a good day no matter how much time goes by at least I still have myself always faithful by my side