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Annert Jul 27
It's funny how you say you love me, but the only way you show it is when your above me. Funny day, funny time, funny life and a funny way to show me you care. You love me, anyone can say it and not mean a **** bit of it. Funny huh?
Annert Jul 21
I said "hi", kissed him goodnight
He loves my voice, but did I hear him right.

On a silent night, crazy fights.
Blue sky quiet bright, fading lights.

Dazing crazy, fluttering that hates me.

A boy who dates me is it kinda crazy, who are you to be amazed by me.

Finding something that doesn't concern you.

Looking for something that can't be found.

A love lost outer zone, a frizzy mess in complete distress.

Finding searching are you lost, looking for guidance, I thought you were your own boss.

Total loss, fabricated love we are not the swans nor doves that represent, shall we say true love.

We are the bitter black tar, give me a flame, I'll give you hell.

Give me your heart, I'll show you my love.

Give me a disaster, I'll give you a bliss
Annert Jun 10
It eats me alive,  this sudden urge to just want to die. End it all, give them a call, tell them "with both of you I had hope." Thoughts of children,  flooded my mind. When my beautiful baby was taken by that time. I wanted to wake up and pretend it was lie, deny I ******* cried. I remember the night you were with my family drinking, I was in the room overwhelmed to much thinking. Just like you I was drinking, the bottle of ibuprofen laid there calling my name, taunting me. He doesn't want you, your a part of his game. No it wasn't the pills or *****, it was the devil calling my name. I wrote you a note, how I loved you so. I couldn't give you kids, I didn't want to live alone. The devil he was willing to give me a home. Ready for the next step I laid down, knowing if I was  alive or not I'd soon be found. You came in smiling alcohol on your breath, I smiled at you weakly seeing your face. I put my hands around your face and just cried and smiled. You seen the notebook sticking out from under the bed, I tried to take it but I couldn't. The pain in your eyes is what hurt me the most, it made me think I didn't deserve you. That I'm nothing, you pulled me up and stuck your fingers down my throat.  I'm still here, you saved me when I wanted nothing but you. While you search for different for better, but I'm simply for no one. I ******* hate that I'm a jumbled mess, I wanted love and respect. But **** me right! I guess. But non the less your sitting happy while I'm a wreak, beautiful lies and big regrets.  I AM NOTHING BUT ANOTHER NAME.  To your regretted list a beautiful bliss, a tragic miss. Crazy how it all started with just one kiss.
Annert Jun 1
Crazy how time flies but the pain never seems to die, crazy lies and bitter cries.  Realize that my baby never really dies. Because it saw the shame in my eyes. Bitter war cries, did the devil make him do it, he wanted to be mine he knows he couldn't. I didn't love him that way, for that I never cared to give him any of my time. He wasn't mine but I was his, run away? Did he feel ashamed? Is that why he wouldn't let me run away? I packed my bags, his fist were raised. In the rage I felt his pain, shoved me hard against the wall. "Are you ******* insane....!!! "He cornered me that's were I remained, don't move I though. Don't ******* breathe, if he don't think your dead. He'll make sure you at least bleed, cry out! Call for help please, he laid me down and said soft and sweet "you'll never have to worry, I'll take care of everything." A cup in one hand my thoughts in the other. I thought is he trying to be the perfect lover. I never wanted him, he was like a big brother, suppost to keep me safe. Made sure no one got in the way, but he wasn't so new to this crucial game. I was the first victim that he kept tamed, kept from escape. Hidden from the light and into the dark I fade. He wanted ***, But I didn't want to be his slave a teenage girl not in my middle age. I wanted to live a normal life. Where in the picture I wasn't just a typical house wife. Get my own ****, I could if I wanted. My body was never something I flaunted, ashamed of it, I was always taunted. Boys were impressed the girls wanted, I was an okay kid not a barbie or polly pocket. With girls my age who had no knowledge. Pretty mature girl, they all thought.  I wouldn't let them in because I fought. I never thought in my life, dealing with ******* I always had to thrive to stay alive. Keep swimming to survive,  I fought all my life. Not to be put down and labeled, just a temporary timeline.
Annert May 30
Running all the scenarios in my head. Feels like that love lines dead. Forbidden, unsaid we don't talk about that. ***** secrets, awful lies. They'll all catch up corner you, like a lost child. Beat you with guilt, **** you with honesty. Cry you a river? No no... that's to cliche. To demanding?
To hurtful,  "oh I'm sorry my love."
Forgive and forget, forgive this forget that. Remember this you never missed, not with the kisses but the hits. Bruises of all colors, shapes and sizes. Accident you said "sorry, forgive me." Forget that, try to sing forget the rings. Are they kings? True and honest, I love you not for your wealth. But for your well being. Selfish I thought, now not. A crazy little lady who thought of cute little babies. Went a little crazy her head was hazy, vision was dazy. Her body felt lazy, no not a baby just perfectly crazy.
Annert May 19
Some people aren't worth dying for not even crying for empathizing or sympathizing for sometimes they give you trouble you know burst your bubble Hold You Down when you struggle and then after that expect cuddles and snuggles but instead theres fights blood and trouble rethink do a double because at the end of the day it's me they leave in the ruble in a puddle of my own life
Annert May 19
It feels smooth like ice
It pours like *****
It smells like metal
It stings like a bee
Only slightly a burn
I want more
I want to feel that empty void
I play with it like a childs toy
It was always my favorite
The metal was always cold
After the mess is made all my pain melts away
My only satisfaction is the dark red that stains the floor
Like blood on a white fresh t-shirt
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