I dreamt last night of someone waiting at the end of an aisle
And the sunbeams streamed through a morning mist
The piano clinked a charming tune
I walked through a garden towards them
But I think it was me watching myself from my partner's view
Because my parents were at my sides
It was as if no time had passed at all
And that's how I knew it couldn't have been me
Because my dad was tearing up
And maybe he would,
But I find it hard to believe that a man so averse to joy
Would be there and happy for me
But that's not the point
I was happy and it was more than a dream
Because it was a wish for something I desperately want to come true

I'd say I'm not a dreamer but I still hope for things that I know I will never have

I went to therapy again and decided that maybe I don't need it anymore
But then I sit up at midnight journaling and writing poetry in my notes app
I said I want to find happiness in the moment
Instead of forever grasping at it, never holding it