The clock has really lost its purpose with me. I've tried between day and night to think of ways to make this sound beautiful, and I can't, because it's not. I've wasted space with paper torn in two. I can't seem to let you go, but I can't seem to hold on to the words on the tip of my tongue. I couldn't tell you how much I love you. I couldnt tell you the reason I'm in this white-walled lot filled with strangers, and the only thought in my mind is the way your eye lashes cross every time you blink, and how they don't when you cry... When you cry... How can I say I love you when I've seen you cry and I've been at fault.  I've skipped weighing options and moved straight to making the wrong decision. You left your free weight on me for comfort and I pushed you away, there wasn't enough room for you and my pride... I had nothing but nerves, daring to be upset with you because you had gone. I'd have stayed, but then again, I'm always wrong. "you could've woke up with me this morning" I'll never forget that. I could've, that's true. I could've been the guy you wish you had a car to see. I could've been the guy you went back and forth loving pictures with. I could've been the guy you talked to these past 5 days. The point is that I'm not. It is my fault. And I accept that. The point is, you've been smiling and sweet with someone else. I no longer have your whole heart, if any at all. This hurts, but I've learned something. I've been watching happy people, sweet, and normal. They're nothing but that. I'm damaged, I'm ****** up, I'm completely torn apart, but I SEE beautiful things they never will, because to them, their selves are beautiful, so they pass by the things I appreciate and love. I love the broken, I love the ****** up, I love those who are completely torn apart. And you were broken, and you were ****** up, and I was there when you were completely torn apart, and so... I love you.