I need a cheerleader by my side…
No judgement and unlimited patience
In whose company I can just go to hide
A high tolerance threshold for all my nonsense
I say this in jest, but hear how hope dies with my tone?
I say it in my head…because out loud, I just feel even more alone
Truth be told, I need you to be my cheerleader
To simply rise to the occasion and somersault me with support
I need you to understand my sadness, my joy… but mostly my anger
In moments like these, I am high maintenance and not a good sport
I have tried to do this on my own
I am not a patient person…not at all
I am my worst enemy…let that too be known
I’ll push myself, if only to make me fall
This is not a luxury, it is a necessity
I cannot breathe, I am fully choking
I am imploding in my own intensity
I have no outlet for my screaming
But I will never ask… not anyone, not you
Because if I do…
That need scurries further into the depths of my soul
Leaves me hungering and turns me into a blackhole
Nothing you do, after I ask
Will ever be enough
And so, I leave you with an impossible task
And how can you give when you don’t know any of this stuff?