sometimes my ego overpowers my mind
therefore i muddle
with a mind-body duality
all i have it a ego-mind duality
but i find a distinction between mind and body
instead of a duality i find
a dichotomy:

i'm looking back on yesterday's
transcendental
and looking forward to the same deja vu transcendental
when the Boss will play his second
show:

he just shouted the following words
on repeat: DO YOU FEEL THE SPIRIT!
DO YOU FEEL THE SPIRIT!
DO YOU FEEL THE SPIRIT!
i was also amazed by my coworkers
talking a bout Biblical things:
like how Lilith was the first wife
of Adam
and Eva is just a cover story...

no sonic hangover headache after a gig
transcendental
i used to drink too much then smoke
now i drink a little and smoke a little
and finish the night of with writing
and a little bit more drinking
and i think i found equilibrium
and as i went to the brothel:
i massaged my girl into telling me about her
past:
where there big *****:
i know Jason, I know Jeff and i know Peter...
these are the three men in my life too
especially Jason:
the drug addict father of my Reyla
who died prematurely...
i think i went to the brothel to get some
spirit...
some taboo and some
i just want to write about my personal life
and have a friction-fiction: autobriography
is FRICTION-FICTION
like there is science-fiction:
there's the beggars belief at all that's been
announced by humanity:
it beggars belief with a little helix

                 of poem
                 like so
                 someone who she could just talk to...
someone who she could just talk to...
someone who she could just talk to...
someone who she could just talk to...
Bruce gave me the spirit:
which was her New Jersey American
borrowed from Poland and Puerto Rico
and sent to Polynesia...
and i'm supposed to go over there
and wake up a sleeping volcano
like all that cinematic spark of ***
the French looked so pale pale pale
pale with their idea of how to open
the Olympic games...
then again maybe some French speaking
people are reading me
and 100 years when the translations
of these words appear
and first Poland since that's where i have
my serpents tongue and the Tree
i perch on: YHYH: yahyah...
no more yahweh:
just yahyah:
to compliment Allah: YHYH...

i went to the brothel and ended up massaging
a ******* to sleep...
i went to the brothel and ended up massaging
a ******* to sleep...
i told her: i walked out with a LIMP BISCUIT
of a ****
a Sargent McVitties dipped in Afternoon Tea...
in'shalla biz-mc

                      so i massaged and it was like massaging
Reyla's body...
she was 20 years old and her body was
that of Reyla's:
Reyla's proportions:
i think i was making a Baptism
to avert your eyes
should you imagine me ******* your daughter:
all that pain i understand
but i really wanted to show you
the nightmare of me even thinking!
even thinking! that i could have *** with your
daughter: imagine!
i don't have to: i walked through the nightmare!
i went to the brothel
looking for a Reyla-body-type:
and ******* = priest
******* = priest:
i am Catholic! i'm never going to be a convert:
a PROSELYTE!
i was making confession!
this is how a Catholic performs confession!
not in the Church! not to a man!
i was confessing to a woman
about... oh: you know! another ******* woman!
i went to the brothel to:
the church is off limits for me!
the church is off limits for me!
i can't enter the church!
my church is the brothel!
find me there: confessing to women
with a limp **** because i found
one special one...
i went to find a Reyla-android de facto:
in situ: minds detached:
both: bodies in despair:
not necessarily one sided:
i didn't get my rocks off...

               i'm a man and she's not my body
type: she's not mother to become
matriarch
she's just a maiden
and i don't like Valkyries...
i'm not aroused by them...
Reyla is a Valkyrie and i need
a hot juicy momma:
i need an URSULA...
i want little girls and little boys to flourish:
i'm getting paranoid again:
i was not briefed at work!
i know how to talk to drunk people
i allow for personal space breaches:
this drunk and drunk me
we danced
we had body man body testing
other confessional booth:
the Coliseum:
my church is a no go zone
i repent in the brothel
and confess
then i pass on the information of what
i learned in the Coliseum...
that's how i operate:

the Paris Olympics opening ceremony:
i love that city
all my love belongs to romancing
Paris:
there: i want to be buried and begin
life again as Tree:
then a mutation transit: by-come-time:
to supervise allowances
in spirit the lifespans of insects
then squids and dull dug out
dumb faces of rocks personified with scratching
like petting cats:
all smiley...

             so i basically couldn't **** Reyla:
i have a **** lock on a teenage:
petite girl: weird body shape...
with prostitutes that sizes and shape i can massage:
with the girl i can bear wrestle:
maybe this girls playing sport is gay:
just gay:
maybe she just needs the scent of male hormones...
maybe grandma: move move!
let Matthew come over...
mum keeps her ostrich and blah blah
they talk and talk and talk...
talk: grandma! they're talking all the time!
maybe Reyla:
i see a gilded path in wheat fields:
later by humans grappling with sun turning
the semi-copper hue to tinge:

         Mary Harrington: funny laugh...
reminded me of Stephanie...
worked with her last night:
do i work many venues?
blah blah... then a twitch: i could tell she
was a *****
a federal...
           she acted funny in the elevator
with all the other black guys...
i didn't pick up the origin of the conversation:
but i think the black guys
were insinuating:
you're super intelligent:
you just met your super intelligence guy
and there was no immediate crush:
but it was there i was showing off my toy boy screen
of the compact smart phone
i really thought i might see Karl Ove Knausaard
in the crowd:
dancing in the dark: i seriously can't finish volume 6
i can't finish the Pickwick Papers
i just can't: i want to leave those books for
retirement...

yes, Edie, i ****** Reyla's body size: well: ******:
are we clear about that i find sexually
arousing? can grandma know:
i need for the matriarch to know
that i couldn't **** a Reyla type:
i had to massage a body type...
experience: wholesomeness:
the rustic belt of a woman is her personality
and volume:
and all that volume of hospice...

         can the matriarch just feel safe
by my limping around Reyla
and keeping her as a child
actually discovering myself as child
i have aged with all that's to be learned
but that last bicycle shop in Hornchurch broke me!
oh... we haven't ordered spokes since
the pandemic...
at a different shop: shh... Halfords:
the bicycle technician will be back in 2 weeks:
young kids behind the counter
actors of no-profession...
  
  gigging it out... each spoke replacement:
cheapest at $15... but the guy replaces the spoke
and moans
wants to be out of business:
because the inner tubing where you inflate:
the ******:
is not protruding
and he didn't put the ******* inflatable in correctly!
moans! but it's so easy to do!
yes... and today i invested in a tool
that's used in removing the cassette
so i can get past the guard
and replace the spoke...

the Boss: i can fix my own bicycle
i could get Ross' ******* bearings fixed
if i was given enough time with you and Reyla
and feel like a father
than feeling this horrid prolonged awakening
of being a son!
do you understand me!

do you hear me?!
i don 't think so:
i think i have to interrupt you sometimes:
you need to hear me!
i don't think you sometimes hear me!
you didn't hear me
when i said why i went to the brothel
and looked for a Reyla
and said: this ******* had bruises
on her ***:
she wasn't just working the brothel
she was making grotesque movies on the side:
unless she just like: clearly no:
she collapsed under her own body:
but i couldn't possibly...

and then transcendental happens around me:
the phenomenon of the monism Chapel...
if i can't enter the church:
**** me: i need to find myself a Chapel
of the phenomenon of monism...
given that monism needs a partner:
to compensate there being not dualism:
the ego and i think
ha ha: that's how ancient Latin becomes
translated into modern English:
the ego i think
therefore?
the ego therefore an ego
to contradict Descartes...
definitely in one's mind: so horridly so:
or? indefinitely in one's mind...
best...
since also definitely in this world as a temporal
impasse of perfect timing:
but also so indefinitely in this world since
about to die...
but none of such joy among gods:
gods are non-transcendental creatures
who sometimes become mortals at their perils:
but they can't seem to help themselves:
mortality is a jealousy of the creation
while the creative immortalize jealousy
and so jealousy creates the immortals...
and blah blah...

                                 me and Boss Bruce...
my American girlfriend:
i never thought i'd get one:
had an Australian one a Russian one a French one...
oh i can make her jealous too of the creviv
mega shlong...
but talk? no talk?! talk... no talk?!
it's like having ***:
i detested bilingualism in the bedroom:
it was like having an ****:
it would be nice for the children:
3 tongues perhaps 4 to share...
but in the bedroom?
Hell!

i speak 2 she speaks 1 isn't that enough?
it could have worked with Promis
but then i wasn't really, honestly:
excited about her:
Samuel did tell me what i was already
thinking: Tweety Bird...
seriously! that was just that:
she was the fresh blood from Australia
and i was the lurch the sneer
the Ugly Duckling with the girls
in high school then i grew my hair long
and blah blah
but she did: does: look like a caricature:
Tweety Bird...
and she was tall: 6ft... i was the only available
6ft3 in the vicinity:
we only dated because of reality
and how compatible we were: in the dimension
of Darwinism... of youth...
youth, madness, learning:
and the basics of preservation:
trans-humanism: very much so...
i couldn't find a sparring partner of a good conversation:
Promis wasn't certainly enough for me...
and someone like that:
who you don't talk to more easily or just about
right when having ***:
will have babies and then deplete the curiosity for
vivo per se...
i saved Promis from making a bad mistake...

Ilona made the bad mistake
while Isabella was like a daughter...
my first and my vampire of testimony for
fighting for an IDEAL
to be later replaced with IDEALISM...
if the IDeal was Isabella
then EDie is the idealism...

                hard to conflate me with cheating
investing
the VERCRUX: need i remind?
i was never a fan of HArry Potter:
but i'm a fan of some ideas in the story:
notably the HORCRUX:
which is?

        the horcrux is your soul: hidden:
of the people you have killed...

a vercrux: verily: verily: the soul
you have hidden in people you have loved!
which they turn into horcruxes
with the items they still possess that
once you owned.

i have several: both of Edie and Reyla:
Reyla hid a proper horcrux:
a golden bracelet with an R hanging off it:
she played a game beyond chess
and i too found it fascinating how she behaved
in a way i behave with a computer
model
when playing AI of chess:
AI of chess is different to the current AI...
post-office of the internet of the algorithm
that's what current AI is...

the death of the encyclopedia is AI
nothing more...
just as the algorithm was the death of the encyclopedia:
even bots have their chores...