If you would have asked me 2 months ago if I'd ever feel again, I'd laugh then cry.
The pain I was left with was unimaginable.
I thought I would live with that hurt forever.
Constant shaking and anxiety.
Crying all day and night for 3 months.

After everything I've been through,
This betrayal hurt the worst.
Everything came crashing down.
All I could feel was pain.

Then one day I came back to life.
No more tears and no more pain.
I still think about it, how it made me feel.
But I could breathe again.

I had picked myself up and put myself back together yet again. All taped and glued.
Never wanting to give my heart away.
Never wanting to trust or love again.

When your heart has been damaged as many times as mine has, it becomes dark and cold.
Never wanting to let anyone experience the love, care, faith and loyalty you provide.

I used *** to heal. Not letting anyone get close enough to get anything but ***.
I was determined to keep my heart safe.
I was prepared to never feel again.
Which made the *** pointless and disapointing.

Then it happened.. after 4 months of healing, I let someone connect with me. I let someone make me feel again.
It terrifies me but feels so good.
I never thought I'd feel anything like this ever again.

I dont know where it will go or what will happen. But it gives my heart hope.
As scared of hurt as I am, I want to feel.
But can I trust anyone with this heart of mine?