the reason i push back isn't because i don't want you around.
i hold back because i don't want to be a bother which is something i've felt like i was my whole life.
i don't know why my past keeps being used against me,
i just feel sad i feel like no one hears me.
i don't want people to feel sorry for me because feeling sorry for me won't make me any better.
i'm suffocating myself by getting into situations i shouldn't be going into, but i have the people who are bad for me there rather than the people in my life who should care about me and don't.
i'm just tired and want to go home,
but there is no home---
it's all in my head.