I remember your cashmere sweater
Always soft against my cheek
As you brushed my hair with your fingers
And I would fall fast asleep

I get that you have a new life
You've replaced your baby with these children of yours
And I wonder how you will tell them
About the life you couldn't afford

I'm so glad to see you're healthy
No longer skin and bones
Your track marks have healed so well
But that skeleton was my home

I know you still think about who you were
Ash, you can't change over night
I'm curious how you will break the news
Or look at me and make things right

You were my mom when our mother escaped
And we were robbed of a childhood; forsaken
But I am still hurting, still being mistaken
Your halo is dimming, it was never that bright
You'll always be an addict living a fight

I'm happy we can have conversations
Without your eyes involuntarily shutting
It's sad that it makes me sad though
You're what I think of when I'm cutting

Your pedestal you placed yourself so high on
I'm watching as it's cracking
And you would be such a fool
If you don't think I've been backtracking

I've got these scars
I didn't forget
You are my nostalgia
I am your regret