I told myself,
"don't get too attached"
"He's just being nice"
"Don't get too attached"
and now,
as his perfect face looks down
and his crystal eyes cloud over with depression,
I ask him what is wrong,
even though I already know.
He replies with exactly what I had feared
"It's.. just a girl.."
I panic not to clutch my heart in pain then and there.
Stupid girl,
I think,
stupid stupid girl!
He's beautiful, clever, funny, a ****** animal
with flocks of girls following him.
Why would he want me?
Why would anyone want me?

Constantly acting
constantly tightening the straps on the mask I wear
but there are times when you can see it.
When you can see,
not pain,
not heartbreak
no,
you'll see tired.
Because that's what I am.
I get tired of it all.
Tired of this longing.
Longing, constantly longing.

My god,
how pathetic.