bouncing off the walls a slight tidbit
and shandy
because i just love those advertisement
interruptions
when i'm in the mood to write
and i set my alarm for 9am
or rather 8:50
and i did wake up but chose
to remain in a bedded position
because that wasn't just a dream
those were two days in two lives in one
a shared experience
and just thinking about love & suicide
and paddling from the north side of the island
to the south side of the island
of Kauai
because i was having a midlife crisis
whatever that means
a midlife crisis is a bit like global warming
a massive farce a diabolical bollocking
sentiment
that's the 3rd time i had *******
and i sexed her up good
so that she was ******* herself
while i was playing tweezers and pliers
with a limp oyster **** hey Jeronimo
hey Jericho
a city and a people
a bit like Pompeii
all in its glory that joke of lawyers
and attorneys
of: if you want to make god laugh:
tell him your plans
and he will say: islam
and by the god willing decree
you pitiable man
you humble man
you enviable man
i am the jealous god
speaking unto the enviable man
and that is as far as i dare to say
my presence
not otherwise
otherwise in birds and tectonic
stomachs of a rumbling
like water boiling
oh this oblivion of the dark grey
hot day of the birth of Gemini
and Samir and i cannot part
and i have to come to terms with
the burdens of love
and if i'm to be having
******* with Hawaii
then i need the eyes from behind
that Niqqab to be looking at me
fiddling their rings of marriage
and proposal
and i need to know
why i'm to make alternative conjunctions
and prepositions
of exclaiming !!! !!!              !!!     !!!
the problem with pronouns
conjunctions
and puncture marks
like abruptness of the dot and the Q: ?: question
and the colon
and semi-
what a sentence preserved:
mummified even
i swear to god
i am god
in my solitude
without a loneliness
and today's menu looks pretty already
i have a cabbage
with baggage
a carrot without a stick
a donkey
a jockey
an Armageddon
and if Nietzsche thought himself
a ******
then i think myself a Teuton
it's as if i'm not something organic
that history makes me inorganic
that i have a history
and a people and a binding will
of the collective unconscious
and that i can't motivate myself enough
other than myself
in my worst habits

i'm spinning i'm spinning
i'm spinning
i'm out of control but i'm also in control
i chose to write but
there are also household chores
but i didn't smoke all of it
it's all uphill from hereonin
here-on-in
up up up
up
up
up up up up
all the way up
there's no point in my slowing down
i need the air the breath
the soul if
if i'm going to gamble with
this love magnet
a Taurus and a Gemini
if you should so speak
because i told her a joke
i was so tired
and i thought about going to the brothel
but i didn't
so stupid
i mean: did you even bring your
"other" ring:
yes that **** ring
i don't mean what gets the girls
staring
the younger ones
when you come all stainless steel
and wood on finger
a ring
a ring on a finger
a sun in  the sky of day
and a moon in the sky of night

a tide of ocean
a river
my feet walking
a tide of ocean
a river
a tide of a river
my feet chasing feet
my eyes blinking

my eyes blinking
me interaction with the former
Putins
the Deutsche....

one gigantic hard-on for a word
that's impeding...
thumping me Mongolian
Saudakur style
grunt grunt grunt gurgle
hunger
one meal a day Bruce Springsteen
style...

Geheimnis - secret
Civic - bürgerlich
polizei -

     polity and the philosopher
polity and the philosopher

ah... perfect rearrangement
just did the duty of emptying those two
decorative bark sacks in the garden
under the Patagonia
and Pagoda
and Nebraska
or somewhere
clinging to far away places
but the *** so close
now i'm itching fidgeting
and itching once more
i want to scratch my brains
and i know i only have one
but there are two hemispheres
and already

the schematic semantics
of math and how numbers know numbers
and how letters don't know letters
and how there aren't syllables
in numbering Katakana
a 10 doesn't make it a binary
of vowel consonant
or consonant and vowel
but that there is vowel distinct
from consonant
and how woman is a vowel
and how man is a consonant
and this is
my microscope my telescope
into the ventures of man as soul
and oscillation away from the days'
removal from the status: just an animal...

now the throat is dry
and i'm going back into my garden
as either Adam or
Satan
and if she wants...
she can moan like a Capirote on fire
that's where Christianity
is vibrant
and echoes a love of men for men
and women are like
secrets
like the ones you keep hidden in Je-CHO-Wa
he: who hides them
(them): being women...

he who hides women from the harm
of the charm man
became endowed with
with Sisyphus and the bundle of burden
that rock
and Adam's apple
and the thinker of Rodin and his resting
clenched fist ***** face...

by 3:30 the effects should be wearing off
and i should be gearing up
to making that beetroot coleslaw
i have the red cabbage
and red onion and
the carrots
the lemons and the yogurt
and i will probably stop thinking

or think that out of all the 300+ employees
i was asked
to go to Portsmouth
on the 14th for a 7h shift at a silent
disco
but i asked about the engineering
work potential on the 7th and 8th
and how two days ago
it took me almost 3h to get home
to what then
kiss the doorknob and go back out
am i mutant robot or Mongol
just want to know
                 so maybe i can leave early
if put on gate 3
they are really sparing me when
it comes to DC3
and i always volunteer
but each time i get rejected
perhaps because i'm prized
i don't know
you can really write a philosophy of work
i mean
you can truly write about micro-managing
your psyche in a working
environment
you feel that Nietzsche went mad
because he didn't have menial tasks
before him
and Bukowski on the other hand
couldn't materialize on the gems
of thought when performing menial tasks...
and Heidegger is found
somewhere in between...

i smoked i drank a little
but i already went out to the shop
to get more whiskey
and a baguette
and Havering Road was filled
with skipping and tictactoe
and a girl
and she was called Reyla
and please don't make me speak
my stomach's soul

Mongol:

дуу хоолой
duu hooloj!

сүнс бурхан

           strange seeing Mongolian
in script: NOT
in Turkic -
but Slavic...
Greco-Slavic

those sneaky ******* from the ancient
world those
Greeks
first they hijacked the Hebrews
and rebuilt the Roman Empire -
Troy -
since the origins of
the myth of Rome is that of defeated
Phoenix of Troy

now they hijacked
the Greek lettering themselves
and applied their genius
to the Slavic people
who competed with the Germans
and at the pinnacle
cheap-*****
Soviet metal competed with
staging a filming of the moon
landing
no sorry no R.E.M. song
like U.F.O.

             disputed by all costs
"win" the "race"...
      
are we all so dumb deaf and bereaving
a fate of debt that
somehow
to no greater advantage
there's an Aladdin with a lamb
and a camel shaped lamp
and there's the rich man
and the rich man gets murdered
is depressed
O         o       O      what then Oo
that's like also oOo
that's the trinity of earth moon and star
and some vague Postman Pat
to Lucifer: you forgot my black & white cat
so rhyme
is echo is rhyme
is not thyme
is time
and timing
and space and spacing
and so dislocated verbiage
much Morse: or worse than a finger
no longer pointing to somewhere called
elsewhere
like death is a rattling toy
and i have only sand dunes in my vibrancy
of contested spirit...

to the far burrows of the former
kin -
           in kind by way of summary
a "buying" of leverage
of time contested
as lost to: a commute...

                  perhaps the ordeal has not yet
begun;