the darkness of the hour the minute and the day now the second and the universe has come
i have unplugged my 3rd pair of eyes from my constipation and now as my mind relaxes i see her and i
don't see her and i'm not going to advantage myself a card of James Joyce and Finnegans Wake and the daughter's premature dementia perhaps the ill fates of those who begin to write and write with meaning rather than journalistic mumbo jumbo let's ***** a statue of a writer like Sienkiewicz at the end of that long straight street of Kielce
siala baba mak nie wiedziala jak chlop powiedziel a reszte to bylo tak...
missing like i was missing at Wembley yesterday and through most of today
i'm living an organic life i overheard the news i wanted to hear on the radio today... at 4pm just as about the serpents were uncoiling from the suntans... freckled ginger nightmares...
only 56 arrested... plenty of IC3 Black Hitlers making fun of Asians in turbans notably the Sikhs it's like you invited one sort in and another sort appear and...
i wouldn't be drinking but let's face it... the literary genius of Bukowski as a... as a... ******* postman and the genius of me well... perhaps a Miroslav Holub the benchmark of writing and science but then there's too much Greek referential in it...
MONEY IS LOGIC i said those words with love in love and when i tell her this isn't going to work life became gravity and my heart became hardened she still doesn't believe me like now i'm matching her pound for pound and i'm shrinking to the pride of a Dwarf living among Men and Elves but i'm becoming a cunning fox of a peddle no stool... a hobbit a sort of Irishman of Europe naive but still persuasively accurate in my reading of reality: now becoming abstract now not so abstract now becoming abstract now not so...
and this life and breadth of losing breath on speaking come and hount me imagine someone: also writing while doing their "supposed" wage labor... enslavement well what is to allow differentiation between en masse dictatorial of a tiny minority to another tiny minority to another one form Poutin through to Twump and to no who in Damascus
because looking into those eyes of CP (close protection) former Deutsche police officers those chauffeurs of the "stars" where one looked like Roberto Martínez so i asked: is... is there anyone important making arguments here for a discounted entry, i.e. for free?
well i was mapping and mapping my supposed schizoid hemispheres onto the schematics and drawings... i was allocated the supposedly deafening of defeat placement at the Spanish Steps where the infamous Wembley breach happened back in 2020... but that was on a national level with a national interest in bread some circus perhaps football but who can tell given that most football fans are not opera fans and i could indulge drinking heavily before going to the opera but going to a football match i don't understand why or how a sport is to be enjoyed intoxicated rather than sober... drink too much and instead of 22 wankers with 20 running and... one shift i was left mesmerized just watching the officials notably the sideline priests
MONEY IS LOGIC and sometimes i shift from watching a game to watching the crowd to watching the grass to watching the floodlights to watching the sideline referees and that's that and i'm no more happy than discontent than less happy than discontent and i ponder Hemmingway's simplification and then i just allow things to flow without haiku interruptions
and i was so gearing up to being on the Dortmund side for the event i was so shy in jokingly choking on spewing out, in a shout
words much ascribed to the fetish of:
ACHTUNG! ACHTUNG! ARBEIT MACHT FREI! ARBEIT MACHT FREI! ABLENKUNG MACHT ZIEGELNAGEL...
ZIEGELNAGEL: ******* doft dorft ooze SCHTOOPI'D! some "things" need reworking and revision
i much preferred the Deutsche fan demure and i'm Catholic as ****** and the French are Catholic and the Spanish are Catholic and so much ethnocentric scribblies in America from Hin Land and Cha - i mean: what's a ****** to do if not swerve: entertain... ride rollerblades round and round on a roundabout: backwards listening to Mario and Luigi's cassette seriously dude, seriously GANDU... gandu gandu... no joke
that's me Wallace and Gromit i call Warren and Ahmed Ahmed and Uzeer the ****- -stani joking about putting wooden knives in each other's pockets to have to peer at and through 90K people congregating to have run
so there was this Muhammad Muhammad who felt ill and decided to go home... i stood there among charging police horses and barking police dogs while about 300 people ran across the cement while i was holding a freebie worth circa £1000...
steward accreditation and a high viz jackets and you think i was stopped? you think i was stopped? i'm experiencing a hyper reverse engineering of voyeurism on my skin like this skin has become leather...
beside from Hamza and Sikander i was not exactly given a hot take on staff and it turns out as the cordon was put in place and about 30 papa echoes stood in front of about 40+ stewards and SIAs i was standing in front of the cordon ensuring legitimate customers were ushered in while the pranksters were being pranked because the UEFA tickets were interactive and required special pen UV or not just PINK with dotted lines
well to one argument i said: but i know you're lying by the face you used to lie... and the argument counter said: but this is my face... to which i replied: honestly: this is my face too... a joyful attention to detail and to think that drinking is a good excuse but i drink to excuse flourishing in a heightened environment for stress hormones to exfoliated and drip-feed-me this inexhaustible feeling of furor...
i drink to excuse myself even today while i settled down to an afternoon with father and we talked about Martin and that bewilderment: but i drink a liter of whiskey and what... beer killed him? ten bottles that's 5 liters of beer killed him, every day for 2 years well by that account i ought to be dead and i know my head is hurting not because of a dehydrated brain i say the brain bleeds and the brain sweats but i'm constipated hence the nail in the head
so i made us a halloumi (grilled) entree on a salad of cucumber, pepper, plum cherries (tomatoes) salad greens, radishes... and roasted pecans and hazelnuts with a dressing of oyster sauce, yogurt, chili infused olive oil blah blah ouzo - citrus infused soya sauce blah blah we had a beer and we talked and i was just wondering: am i just tired... no i haven't had anything to drink but at least he understands and will know: he's tired...
and i was tired and blah blah blah... well if i were to have my last days spent in the presence of my father cooking him dinner having had an adventure at Wembley and exchange that for ****** favors for about a year with Edie... conversation-wise can she even hear me? i wonder... even Reyla wonders whether she's heard i too wonder: i don't think i am heard i don't think Edie hears me i talk to her and it's as if she's the one wanting to talk talk talk talk chalk talk talk chalk chalk talk chalk...
MONEY IS LOGIC
that's the words i sent her when i contemplated going to visit a brothel last night it became painfully stupid once i was on the N128 on Cranbrook Rd heading toward Romford that i was in no mood for *** or for that matter paid for *** and with no fear of a libido: maybe if i had a ****-ring on me i would have but that's my and Edie's discover but i didn't bring the right sort of rubber with me i had already withdrawn over £700 and i told her
but if i can't sleep on your lanai like a dog
but if i can't sleep on your lanai like a dog?!
dogs... who cannot sweat but excessively salivate... well: so much for the purpose of mascara of the camel lashes of your young girls walking about like miasmas of ghosts of beauty that once was that i almost had a dream of women who would slice rotting onions in half and then smear their bodies with to imitate getting a suntan in winter...
yes: i am yet to undertake the task of learning from hallucinogenic au naturale... from fungi from LSD papercuts on the brain... (papper?) it figured... all that potential, wasted, on those happy-go-****-me hippies from the 1960s so much potential squandered there was no gearing up to something rightwing coherent, when exploring these territories for a flavour of what only was a timidity of an Huxley... (payper - paper - papper - patting - pet hates no bounce bounce in titter - tittering - no giggle in ****** - just a word, a spelling accuracy - get away with Saka and inking someone darker and we have colts with Spanish fans returning from the match on the Metropolitan Line-Z_
whoops! )
and i did walk into my room stark naked with all the constellations when Reyla was sleeping in it a 13 year old girl and i laid by the bed like a guard, dog and i was rudely woken up and told to move because somehow nakedness outside of the hyper-context of *** is not simply birth and death and all beside the supposed thrills of taboo...
well it's not like i was starstruck either i saw Jamie Redknapp (i didn't know there was a silent K in that surname) at Fulham once but yesterday i saw him twice or rather the first time i didn't see him but was merely giving him directions and what disappointed me was rules being broken for a familiarity contest because a somewhat some-what-may of having previous affiliations of "guarding" poo-poo-puppy of a son that Quadrant that "frenchie" oh jeez...
well i too performed a Hajj to the innermost residing place of the visage and i too found Jesus to be misguiding with that affair of long hair and bearded that look is so... so... so ******* outdated... it should be made... illegal...
not that i am: drunk, or high... i'll leave that scrutiny of "policing" to the federalists on sleep patrol... because i don't know why... somehow this separation of church- -from- -state while this nagging insistence on no separation of... LANGUAGE from STATE... it's as if we're living in a time a wasted time a waiting upon time no time no waiting to begin with a time of a LANGUAGE-STATE...
echoes of interpretation from the East i hear rumors... a CIVILIZATION-STATE equivalent of Rome Russia China...
so what? now we're all literate yet illiterate in coding? not able to use chatGPT i was having a conversation with a girl of my dreams face unveiled yet hair covered like i abhor hair like i love flies in champagne in flutes of glass like this doesn't really matter anyway like i want a late Monday while the cats keep coming uncircumcised because you can't circumcise a cat's phallus but instead castrate them why not then castrate the Semites and call them the ****** breed of intellect just shying from the joke of circumcision?!
SARDAUKAR... and what are not the Mongol chants in Dune?
SARDAUKAR... and what are not the Mongol chants in Dune?
plagiarism, cultural appropriation? you tell me... the Mongols came to Poland the Mongols didn't reach England the Mongols didn't reach England...
SARDAUKAR i can sing like a Mongol hunger-strike protest... HUMUMGUNGUNGOON SUMBOONKAKOOMAMOON
SARDAUKAR...
with all the bowels and stomach and no eyes and no mind all bowels and heart and echo and no breath.