i know i can see past my own history
as it's something i consistently work through,
but for a moment, as you took my history for jokes,
i didn't know you

it was quick,
short,
unserious,
but i felt my soul shatter to a billion pieces
leaving me terrified,
lonely,
delirious.

i know i can see past through it,
i have always done so,
but oh my ******* god it hurts so much
it hurts, it hurts, it hurts so