I wonder what I did to lose you.
I wonder what I did to ever have you in the first place.
How long will it be
Before not everyone who gets anywhere near close to me
Knows your name?
I hope it's always that way.
Time comes and goes,
People,
Loves, even.
But you are like the ink in my hips,
You are there at the beginning and end of every day,
There for every first kiss
And every sob.
You are there in my head, in my heart,
In my skin,
And I don't think I could live without you.
Sometimes I forget how much of my life is you, because you are there like the sky.
Never in my life will I wander outside
And look up
And see no sky.
You're...
You're like that.
But when the night grows and swallows up the world, I think of you, I miss you,
I would confess to you
All my little feelings,
The ones that gnaw at me through the day,
The ones I trust no one else with.
Sometimes I lay in bed and think of that night in New York,
The night I broke down and told you that nothing mattered to me except you,
And that I was scared I'd **** for you and die for you
And not care about any of it if only I could just...
Look at you and touch your skin,
And instead of recoiling from me like I thought you would,
You wrapped your arms and legs around me,
You held me in every way a person can be held,
And that was the first time I have ever cried in somebody's arms,
And that is the first time I have ever gotten exactly what I needed from somebody I loved.
And when I think of that night
I love you so much it tears me up inside.
I don't think people were meant for feelings like the ones you give me.
I don't think they're supposed to exist at all.
I feel madness on the edges of how much you sway my heart,
As if I could just, one day, lose all my sanity to that feeling
And become useless and broken, out of joy, because joy can destroy just like pain can.
Darling, I'd give it up for a night with you.
If you promised that when you walked away from me I would die I would throw it all away
Without a second thought.
I know you know that. I know you've seen it proven. I know you love me anyway.
God, how do you thank someone for being your soul?
How do you even hold a concept like that in your mind?
How is it that it's been almost two years since I fell in love with you,
Treasured and lost you,
How is it that it's exactly as intense to this day, even far away and far removed?
I hope you stay in my skin with the ink,
That secret that tells the world I am yours,
And a little piece of you
Is mine.