i feel distant from myself
i feel distant from God
i don't feel like a friend
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this has to be self torture right?
it is my hand that is crushing my windpipe RIGHT?
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i know everything is by the hand of God
but it feels like i'm hurting myself badly these days
but the pain hurts so good
sometimes it doesn't even feel like pain
that's the problem
the lines are so blurred between the two that i can't see where anything begins or ends anymore
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how these lines get crossed
how everything blurs into one
how i am slowly making a descent into nothingness
how fast i am fading..
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it feels like i'm free falling
and the hand of God, invisible and mighty, cushions me and slowly, very slowly is lowering me down
so i'm not falling..