I think the thing that hurt the most are the vision of the future that have blurred from the tears.
The hurt that will come when he makes eyes at another girl. The eyes that used to always find me.
The thought of him with anyone else has my stomach and heart free falling waiting to shatter and I’m not sure I’m ready for that pain.
The biting my tongue to stop the I loves you coming, trying to stop the most easy thing to say.
It hurts that he’s there and he always will be but just not in the way I am used to and the not as the one I used to know.
The comfort that used to make everything okie starts to sting just a little more.
The songs that held promise and security now a painful reminder of what was had.
The aftershave that used to smell like home now reminds me that it will never be
Do I use the smell to help me sleep or do I wake up wanting him more
The underwear he bought only for his eyes is now just another piece of clothing
He won’t touch the certain parts of my body that still craves him, he won’t stroke my hair while I sleep or my back while we watch TV. But the thought of anyone else touching the intimate parts of me makes my skin crawl. It wouldn’t be his hands to touch me so I don’t want to be touched at all.
It hurts that no one can or will compare to him  and what’s worse is that I love him and I probably always will. He said I love you millions, his millions ran out, whilst I was still in the middle of mine. And now I’m left finishing the countdown on my own