LOST BALLOON

crawling from the crash
I couldn't have died
if I tried

I had a son to save
laughed
spat in death's face

pulled him from the flames
I forbade him to die
he disobeyed

the car exploded
burning the edges
of the night

I survive
without him
a death in itself

my reflection
does all the talking
I just stare in the mirror

Christmas now
I feel like a lost balloon
sticking to the ceiling

*

This was a lady I used to look after and I know this story inside out as she told it and retold it to her self in the hopes that in one of the hopeless retellings she could break through the words and save her son again only for him to die over and over again. Not even in words could she save him but she wouldn't ever give in and so was doomed to relive that horrific moment for ever.