Fig at my feet,
I fumble
and fret
Imagining worlds where bubbles don’t burst,
Where the sun doesn’t
                      burn
                                  away
                         ­                       into nothingness.
Where the ghosts of ex lovers haunt their mothers and the emptiness doesn’t weigh heavy on my boots.
In the distance a white rabbit beckons me forward
To a home where you never leave and she never hurts.
A place to sit and trace the rivers flowing across the heart lines in my palm.
My life mapped out before me like reels and reels of ticker tape.
He will love you like no other.
He will hold onto you like the last leaf of fall.
He will kiss you like a wave to a boat, gently and fiercely all at once.

I swallow the blue pill and wake to craters in my hands, hollowed out by time.
And in them I’m holding not a fig, but a mulberry fruit.
Thisbe and Pyramus’ lament from the gods.
I take a bite, a bitter taste.
Because in another life, I’d be with you.