So you say you want to die?  
I suppose subjectivity can be heavy
Repetition, boredom and existential claustrophobia  
But you should at least see the world from the top of Pike's Peak first.
It can be your beginning
A catalyst for awe
The explosion that sets you aflame
After that you will begin to see it in everything
Even in something as mundane as a blade of grass
Then your life will be spent at the top of a mountain
Your head will always float in the clouds
Light as dandelion seeds in the wind
Deep as the whole of existence